Ground Hog Day

One of Kevin's all time favorite movies is "Ground Hog Day". It's a very funny Bill Murray movie about a weatherman who has to go to Pennsylvania to be there when the ground hog comes up to see or not see his shadow. His character is a very shallow, very self absorbed man. So, when he gets to the town he is going to he seems to get the day all wrong. So... the next day he wakes up and it's a complete repeat of the first day. His day keeps repeating over and over. At first he uses this as an opportunity to figure out how to steal from the armored truck and do all kinds of ridiculous things.

But later in the movie, that starts to get old. Sound familiar? That's when he has an epiphany. Maybe, just maybe, I should use this day to figure out what is happening to those around me and make decisions that will be beneficial to those whom I come in contact with. Because he decides to see the world around him with this new set of eyes, he is able to save a man from choking to death, change tires for a little old lady, help a young man get the girl of his dreams (and give them tickets to wrestlemania) and so many more wonderful acts of kindness. He also, gets to use the time in bettering himself and learns to play piano like a concert pianist.

Doesn't this sound so much like real life? Of course, we don't wake up each day to the exact same day over and over... but we do have some repetition in life, that's just part of life. We go to work or school each day, we feed our kids, we grocery shop, we drive to work the same route, so many of the things in our day are routine. But the people we encounter are not. What if you could go back to yesterday and see what happened after it happened in your day. Would you do your day differently? Would you change how you treat people? Would you live your life better?

I hope that I would say no to this question. That I would be taking every opportunity that God places in front of me and doing the exact right thing. Of course, that wouldn't be a truthful statement... I'm human (I know that may surprise some of you:) But... what if we start to look at our days through the "Ground Hog Day" opportunity rose colored glasses? What if we saw each person that we encounter each and every day as a chance to show God's love in a real and tangible way? What if... we listened to God's still small voice each and every moment of the day and treat people the way that He would treat them? Can you imagine the change that would happen in our little corner of the world. Would you even be able to count the times that people would glimpse the real and true God through our actions?

Kevin challenged our church to do "random" and "intentional" acts of kindness on Groundhog Day this year. Grasp those fleeting moments of seeing a need and filling it and of finding a person and blessing them. Find the moments, create the moments... anything you can think of to be a blessing. I challenge you to spend the entire day looking at people and life as an opportunity, not a routine. "Happy Groundhog Day"!

Hey you... a child is born.. it's JESUS!

Jonah was in a play this December called "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever". Do you remember this book? Or the old movie with Loretta Swit? We rented it so the boys could see it. I vaguely remembered hearing the story before, but didn't remember it exactly. The basic story line is about a church's Christmas Pageant that has always been the same, year after year... the same girl playing Mary, the same boy playing Joseph. But this year the "bad" kids (a family of 5 kids) want to be in the pageant and EVERYONE thinks that it will be ruined.

Of course, we know that the happy ending must be fulfilled by the pageant being spectacular and the best ever, thus the title. But the story doesn't really come to fruition in the way that we might think it should. It's not just that the play is better than the year before, but that it's seen through different eyes.

The story is the same every year... never changing. It's always about Mary and Joseph and Jesus and the manger and a star and shepherds and angels and wise men. The difference has to be in how we see the story.

I saw this play several times (of course, because Jonah was in it). It's all humor and fun and laughing until the actual pageant begins and even then there is some humor. The wise men bring a ham (from their welfare basket), crisco oil and a fire truck toy. (You'll have to read the book to see why those gifts. The angel is hysterical... shouting "Hey, Hey... unto you a child is born...it's JESUS... go to the barn and see him"! But then the story takes a change in tone and the oldest of the 5 kids who is playing Mary (and these are kids that didn't even know the Christmas story before this) is sitting at the manger and begins to softly cry as she holds the baby Jesus. Since the show had been so humorous I did not expect to be moved, but I was in tears right along with her (as was most of the audience). Here was a young girl hearing the Christmas story for the very first time and reacting to the wonder of seeing and holding the baby Jesus (as though he were really Jesus). To see the wonder and beauty of the story through the eyes of someone seeing it for the first time was incredibly moving.

And so, when I saw the play a second time, I was prepared for this section in the show and knew that I would be fine... but once again I was moved to tears, as was the entire audience (and several moms who were seeing it again:) Each time I saw it I was dissolved into a blubbering mess and as I contemplated this I came to a huge realization.

The reason that this was so moving to me, to see this young girl experience the joy and wonder of the birth of Jesus was that I hadn't felt that joy and wonder surrounding this event for a while. I have found myself becoming more cynical and more hard hearted as I get older and the amazing things about being a Christian do not always seem so amazing. I forget about the wonder of the birth of Jesus and what a miracle it was. Mary and Joseph alone and most likely afraid, giving birth in a stable and wrapping Jesus in "waddled up clothes" and laying Him in the manger. The shepherds hearing the angels, going to worship Jesus. The wise men, following the star and bringing gifts. It's all a miracle.

So this Christmas as I watched our "Christmas pageant" at church (really our Christmas Eve services, but our version of the pageant) I closed my eyes and listened to the story. I listened as though I'd never heard the story before. I heard the message and the music as if I'd never read a word about Mary and Joseph and Jesus! And I could hear the angel shouting "Hey, Hey... unto you a child is born...it's JESUS... go to the barn and see him"!

And I did!! And it was wondrous!

Jumpin In!

My sister-in-law Jennifer posted this picture of my brother Blaine and nephew Jesse on facebook and I was so struck by the look of joy on Jesse's face that I couldn't help but write. I had the immediate sense that this is how we look when we've discovered all that our lives can be when we give them over to Christ.

I imagine that Jesse had some trepidation as he was entering the water and climbing on his father's back. Who wouldn't? This photo was taken on the Missouri River. I don't know how deep it is, but I assume it's deeper than Jesse is tall:) Isn't that how life is? Deeper than we are tall! There is so much about life in Christ that is amazing. Mercies that are new every morning! Everlasting life! Life and life abundantly! Sometimes I feel like Jesse...I'm just going to grab on to the back of my Father and hang on for dear life, because we are going for a ride.

I love that my life in Christ is not predictable. Where would be the fun in that? The excitement, the desire, the fear:) Fear, you ask? How can there be fear in the blessing? Box... Me... outside! That's how. God asks me to step outside of my comfort zone and my little, itty, bitty, I completely know what's coming next, box, so that I can experience the joy and blessing of something greater than I can ever imagine. My comfort box is pretty small and doesn't always have room for a lot of joy... how about yours? Is there enough room in it for a ride on the Missouri River or do you just want to hang out on the dock? Me... I'm jumping in!

An Unwelcome Visitor

I had an old friend (and I use the term friend extremely loosely) come visit this past weekend. I only use the word friend, because she's been a companion for 35 years. She's probably known me longer and better than anyone. She's is not a welcome friend...in fact, just the opposite. I would never willingly invite her over for a visit.

She is me... my depressive me. I have a companion who is closer to me than even my husband or my kids. She shows up unexpectedly and stays for a day, a week, a month. This week she only stayed for a day or two. No matter how long she's stays, she is extremely unwelcome.

If you are at all like me, you like to have your homes cleaned up when we have guests come to visit. We like to dust and vacuum and put the dishes away (or at least in the dishwasher:). I know that I want to be prepared when people come over. Unfortunately, depression is a visitor that comes unannounced. There's no way to prepare for it. No housecleaning (figuratively speaking) happens before it shows up. No way to make sure that you are ready for it's visit.

I've lived with depression long enough to know that I am two different people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a split personality:), but I do have 2 distinct personalities depending on whether I'm depressed or not. The non-depressed me is fun, funny, likes to have people over, throws parties, plays with her kids, is kind to her husband. The depressed me is EGR. Extra Grace Required. My personality changes when my depression comes to visit. I don't want to be out and about. I become reclusive, unable to believe that anyone wants to be with me as an EGR. I don't enjoy being out and about at all, I yell at my kids, I'm mean to my husband. I'm sad, sad, sad. My husband knows this about me, but not everyone does. Most people still don't understand depression and think I'm just being kinda witchy. Even in this day and age with openness about mental health, I've had people ask me if I can't just "will" myself out of a depression. That's like asking a cancer patient why they can just think happy thoughts about chasing away the cancer cells and expecting it to happen.

Thankfully, with help from God, my husband and a couple medications (please don't email me to tell me the evils of medication for mental health, you'll never change my mind...I'll take it the rest of my life so that I can enjoy a better quality of life than I had before meds) I can live more days as me and not as my alternate EGR.

Today I just wanted to write about something very near to me and my family and let you know some of the ins and outs. You all probably know someone with a mental health issue. Please look at them in a new light this week. No one chooses depression, no one means for it to make your life more difficult (though we understand that it does sometimes), no one chooses to be EGR, no one wants to live that way, they aren't able to change it on their own.

I still pray constantly that God will heal me. I COMPLETELY believe that He can. For whatever reason He has chosen to not do that, I'm unsure. But, I know that because I am not healed I can share with you all what it's like to be on this side of the fence. I know you have to live with us, but let me remind you it's much more difficult on this side of the fence. We wish we were on your side:) Remember that when talking with your own special EGR this week.

Blessings to you all

Your favorite EGR friend

Brenda